File #931: "Mosaic_Spring2009_13.jpg"
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over again. The troubles ranged from declining health to a declining marriage, even though we struggled through for 20 years and it ended only after I straightened up, go figure, but that's another story. Soon the most devastating event of my young life happened to me. This truly changed me as a person. I ran with a man that had more money than sense, but I had neither. He was a pretty odd character and my other friends didn't have much to do with him. One night there was an incident and I took a whisky bottle and went after a couple of men he knew, one being his brother, my brother-in-law. He ran after me and was hitting me with a slap jack, like the cops carry. I turned around and put him on the ground bleeding and his brother got it, too. The other man ran, and I also was after the man I was with for not helping me.
I should have realized my life was out of control. A month later this man and me were back out running around and I was admiring the 44 magnum he had with him. Later that night he shot me with that gun and while I was on a stretcher being loaded in an ambulance in the midst of 7 cops he pulls back up. Everyone took cover and left me in the middle of the parking lot on the stretcher. I saw my life flash before my eyes when he shot me and again after that. He had enough pull in the town that they didn't arrest him that night and I lay in the hospital knowing that he might make good on his promise to finish me off.
I was never the same after that all I wanted to do was fight and drink and I did lots of both. The years kept passing and my body, mind, and soul was in a terrible shape. I had a lot of run-ins with the law. There were fights almost every week. I got to where it was fun. I grew my weed, drunk my beer and traveled quite a bit. The house of cards finally came crashing down. I had a shaky marriage at home and I stayed in court as much as I stayed at home. I broke a set of hand cuffs in my house and whipped two cops and that was when I realized that the old song was true. “I Fought the Law and the Law Won".
The years of drinking and drugging had destroyed my body. I had found a steady source of moonshine and I drank that chasing it with beer day and night. The only thing I could eat or wanted to eat was soda crackers. The blood flowed from both ends and my doctor said that I had first stage sclerosis of the liver. I had almost died from taking too much bad cocaine and I was ready to give up. There was a moment of clarity just when it seemed all hope was lost. The will power I mustered and the grace of a loving God gave me the strength to go on.
It was then that I started on the long road to recovery physically, mentally, and spiritually. The challenge was great and the road sometimes rough. I have lost many friends and my marriage fell apart, but I still got my family and my true friends. I know what I am and whose I am and try to live a life that will help and not hurt. I want to build up, not tear down. The first two sentences of this story are the beginning of a nightmare that I had long ago, but I am convinced that it was more of a premonition what would happen if I didn't change.
There is hope for the hopeless and redemption for all. If you find yourself on the destructive end of life, take advice from someone who has traveled that rocky road. The good times will end and there won't be a fair weather friend left. You will be beat and feel the heat. Don't look back on a wasted life filled with regret, get direction and purpose. Live to help others and you will surely help yourself. Don't let my nightmare come true for you.
Photo: A stuffed animal bear with the words “I WISH YOU WERE A BEER”
Photo by Jeff Woodside
I should have realized my life was out of control. A month later this man and me were back out running around and I was admiring the 44 magnum he had with him. Later that night he shot me with that gun and while I was on a stretcher being loaded in an ambulance in the midst of 7 cops he pulls back up. Everyone took cover and left me in the middle of the parking lot on the stretcher. I saw my life flash before my eyes when he shot me and again after that. He had enough pull in the town that they didn't arrest him that night and I lay in the hospital knowing that he might make good on his promise to finish me off.
I was never the same after that all I wanted to do was fight and drink and I did lots of both. The years kept passing and my body, mind, and soul was in a terrible shape. I had a lot of run-ins with the law. There were fights almost every week. I got to where it was fun. I grew my weed, drunk my beer and traveled quite a bit. The house of cards finally came crashing down. I had a shaky marriage at home and I stayed in court as much as I stayed at home. I broke a set of hand cuffs in my house and whipped two cops and that was when I realized that the old song was true. “I Fought the Law and the Law Won".
The years of drinking and drugging had destroyed my body. I had found a steady source of moonshine and I drank that chasing it with beer day and night. The only thing I could eat or wanted to eat was soda crackers. The blood flowed from both ends and my doctor said that I had first stage sclerosis of the liver. I had almost died from taking too much bad cocaine and I was ready to give up. There was a moment of clarity just when it seemed all hope was lost. The will power I mustered and the grace of a loving God gave me the strength to go on.
It was then that I started on the long road to recovery physically, mentally, and spiritually. The challenge was great and the road sometimes rough. I have lost many friends and my marriage fell apart, but I still got my family and my true friends. I know what I am and whose I am and try to live a life that will help and not hurt. I want to build up, not tear down. The first two sentences of this story are the beginning of a nightmare that I had long ago, but I am convinced that it was more of a premonition what would happen if I didn't change.
There is hope for the hopeless and redemption for all. If you find yourself on the destructive end of life, take advice from someone who has traveled that rocky road. The good times will end and there won't be a fair weather friend left. You will be beat and feel the heat. Don't look back on a wasted life filled with regret, get direction and purpose. Live to help others and you will surely help yourself. Don't let my nightmare come true for you.
Photo: A stuffed animal bear with the words “I WISH YOU WERE A BEER”
Photo by Jeff Woodside