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No Dibbs on the Phone
Will Jordan
The telephone rang. "No dibbs," my wife shouted immediately from the comfort of her easy chair. She was seven months pregnant with our first child.
"What does that mean?" I irritatingly questioned.
"It means that you have to answer the phone," she snapped. "No it doesn't," I said with finality. Ring, ring, ring went the telephone while JoAnn and I glared at each other. She pulled herself from her chair and trudged to the telephone. Jo Ann and I have completely different personalities and, consequently, different goals in life. Our biggest problem lies in communicating these differences.
So, why couldn't Jo Ann have simply let the telephone go unanswered? It's a rhetorical question and the answer would be meaningless to me anyway. Each time the telephone rings, she must perform whatever function is necessary to get it answered. In the past this has involved jumping over chairs, ending conservations with other people, or shouting at me, "Get out of my way!" Once while parking the car, she heard the telephone ring, and in her haste to answer it, she forgot to put the car in park. I came home a little later to find the car in the ditch. Another time while we were talking to the priest, the telephone rang. "Hold that thought, Father Fleming," she said. Father Fleming left, mumbling under his breath, after waiting about ten minutes for Jo Ann to get off of the telephone. Once she answers the telephone, the person on the other end of the line gets her undivided attention for as long as they are able to maintain their end of the conservation. She will talk to her friends or her mother for hours at a time. When this happens, and one of the children is in need of their mother's attention, her response is, "I'm on the phone!" or "Will, can't you get that for them?" It's comical to see her almost break her neck to answer the telephone and then to hear her initial response, "No, I don't think I want to buy any today," and after about ten minutes she still hasn't found a polite way to hang up. Once after about a thirty-minute conversation, I noticed that her face was flushed and that she looked embarrassed. "That was Father Fleming, and he said that he has still holding his thought," she said sheepishly. Her habits with the telephone make me feel ignored, and I become irritated and annoyed.
Then there is her habit of using phrases from her childhood that have specific meaning to her, but I often find confusing. The phrase "No dibbs" may not seem so bad, but what is the meaning of the phrase "Big woo?" I thought it was a sarcastic way of telling someone who thinks they have done something very spectacular that you think what they have done is not all that great. When I had completed my graduate degree, and I was preparing for the commencement ceremony, I heard Jo Ann talking to her mother on the telephone. "Will is fixing to do his big woo," she said. Later I found out that the proper interpretation of "Big woo" is all in how it is said. Also, consider the time when I was feeling amorous and right in the middle of our romantic interlude the telephone rang. Naturally, Jo Ann answered it immediately. It was her sister, and my wife started exhibiting body language that foretold a long conversation. She turned her back to me, folded her arms across her chest, and crossed her legs. I began looking for something else to do and was leaving the room when I heard her say, "He's got the studs." I assumed that she was talking about me and that this was a sarcastic reference to my current emotional disposition. How insulting! Well, it turned out that they were talking about her sister's son, and it seems that "Got the studs" means petulant. It seems Jo Ann's sister's son wasn't getting his way and was acting peevish and refusing to speak to anyone. Jo Ann attempted to explain how the meaning of
Will Jordan
The telephone rang. "No dibbs," my wife shouted immediately from the comfort of her easy chair. She was seven months pregnant with our first child.
"What does that mean?" I irritatingly questioned.
"It means that you have to answer the phone," she snapped. "No it doesn't," I said with finality. Ring, ring, ring went the telephone while JoAnn and I glared at each other. She pulled herself from her chair and trudged to the telephone. Jo Ann and I have completely different personalities and, consequently, different goals in life. Our biggest problem lies in communicating these differences.
So, why couldn't Jo Ann have simply let the telephone go unanswered? It's a rhetorical question and the answer would be meaningless to me anyway. Each time the telephone rings, she must perform whatever function is necessary to get it answered. In the past this has involved jumping over chairs, ending conservations with other people, or shouting at me, "Get out of my way!" Once while parking the car, she heard the telephone ring, and in her haste to answer it, she forgot to put the car in park. I came home a little later to find the car in the ditch. Another time while we were talking to the priest, the telephone rang. "Hold that thought, Father Fleming," she said. Father Fleming left, mumbling under his breath, after waiting about ten minutes for Jo Ann to get off of the telephone. Once she answers the telephone, the person on the other end of the line gets her undivided attention for as long as they are able to maintain their end of the conservation. She will talk to her friends or her mother for hours at a time. When this happens, and one of the children is in need of their mother's attention, her response is, "I'm on the phone!" or "Will, can't you get that for them?" It's comical to see her almost break her neck to answer the telephone and then to hear her initial response, "No, I don't think I want to buy any today," and after about ten minutes she still hasn't found a polite way to hang up. Once after about a thirty-minute conversation, I noticed that her face was flushed and that she looked embarrassed. "That was Father Fleming, and he said that he has still holding his thought," she said sheepishly. Her habits with the telephone make me feel ignored, and I become irritated and annoyed.
Then there is her habit of using phrases from her childhood that have specific meaning to her, but I often find confusing. The phrase "No dibbs" may not seem so bad, but what is the meaning of the phrase "Big woo?" I thought it was a sarcastic way of telling someone who thinks they have done something very spectacular that you think what they have done is not all that great. When I had completed my graduate degree, and I was preparing for the commencement ceremony, I heard Jo Ann talking to her mother on the telephone. "Will is fixing to do his big woo," she said. Later I found out that the proper interpretation of "Big woo" is all in how it is said. Also, consider the time when I was feeling amorous and right in the middle of our romantic interlude the telephone rang. Naturally, Jo Ann answered it immediately. It was her sister, and my wife started exhibiting body language that foretold a long conversation. She turned her back to me, folded her arms across her chest, and crossed her legs. I began looking for something else to do and was leaving the room when I heard her say, "He's got the studs." I assumed that she was talking about me and that this was a sarcastic reference to my current emotional disposition. How insulting! Well, it turned out that they were talking about her sister's son, and it seems that "Got the studs" means petulant. It seems Jo Ann's sister's son wasn't getting his way and was acting peevish and refusing to speak to anyone. Jo Ann attempted to explain how the meaning of